TinaLou Sings!

Looking for beauty in all the ugly places

Last night I caught the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Miami. The entire episode takes place at a charity fundraising event for breast cancer which just happens to be a lingerie party. This of course means all of the attendees show up adorned in their fanciest underpants, not to mention all of the fabulous accessories, including fur, feathers, and excessive bling. (Hmmm, not sure if there is such a thing as “excessive bling,” really, I can’t get enough!) At first viewing you might think this show is nothing more than big drama carried out by women with big pocket books and egos, and even bigger fake boobs; however my intention is to convince you that you never have to look very far to become inspired.

I feel that one of the most critical concepts to understand (and one of the toughest to swallow); is that you create your own reality by the way you choose to look at the world. To remain a victim you have to perpetuate the belief that people, circumstances, events, etc.–things that are “outside of you,” are the reason and cause for how you feel. The reason you desire any change in your life, is because you think you will feel better when you get it. However, if things outside of your control, like the behavior of others, are the reasons you choose to feel the way you feel – then you are at the mercy of someone else’s choices. Then you have to find people that always please you in order to maintain some sense of sanity and control – I call this madness a definite recipe for exhaustion and misery.

Self-examination is not easy for everybody – it’s much easier to pick apart someone else’s life than to look deeply into our own and understand the consequences of our choices. This is why God has given us the gift of reality television! Now we can deepen our understanding of ourselves by seeing the insanity played out in front of our eyes during prime time, wearing pajamas or lingerie, in the comfort of our own homes.

Creating your reality based on how you choose to look at the world means that what you think and speak about habitually colors your perception. What you say to yourself inside your head and what you speak about to others, even what you write about – all of this focuses your attention and emits energy. This energy is a feeling or a vibration that speaks louder than any words you could utter and communicates volumes to the world around you. How you focus your attention is your power to create.  Scientifically speaking, like attracts like – or in this episode – hate attracts hate. How you look at the world shapes how your feel – and how you feel or emanate determines what is attracted into your experience.

So what can we learn from the series of party fouls than ensued in this latest installment from the Miami housewives? Two of the housewives in this episode Adriana and Joanna, consistently tell us how they will stop at nothing to defend themselves and both are incapable of allowing anyone in their presence to voice a different perspective. They both strike me as that personality type that is just waiting for an opportunity to defend themselves, almost like they’re secretly hoping someone will act up so they can prove their seriousness. And wouldn’t you know it, they both are confronted with opportunities to defend themselves all of the time. Adriana is always looking at Karent with the eyes of “this woman doesn’t deserve to behave how she does and I must put a stop to it.” I’m not sure if Karent has negative intentions – but every time Adriana comes close to Karent she finds a way to interpret Karent’s behavior as wrong, she is unwilling to give Karent the benefit of the doubt. Joanna could not stand the fact that Marysol was wearing fur to the party since she is a PETA activist vehemently against cruelty to animals. Yet she has no problem with cruelty to herself and humans that do not agree with her. What is so ironic is that both of these women are physically very beautiful, but once they open their mouths to voice how ugly they perceive the world around them – you cannot help but notice the stark contrast. This must be a gift from the universe – a blatant message wrapped in a pretty package, that sounds anything but pretty.

Now that technology gives us the ability to share on a grander scale – we are more aware of the multitude of conflicting opinions that exist. The important question is – will you allow all of the diversity to exhaust you by endlessly seeking to defend your position? And at what price? Will you forfeit your ability to enjoy your life because you simply cannot accommodate a competing narrative? Or can you be at peace knowing that out of the contrast you get the opportunity to clarify your own desires? The Real Housewives of Miami are presenting this dilemma in the most dramatic fashion – here are gorgeous people with lives most would envy – and because of the way they choose to look at the world –  they are almost incapable of enjoying the beauty that surrounds them.

The difference between a mediocre life and an extraordinary life:

• Will you choose to focus your attention on purpose, which means you think and speak deliberately because you are aware of how it feels when you say what you say and think what you think?

-OR-

• Will you create by default – and believe you are the habitual thoughts that flow through your mind when you observe the world around you, a regurgitator never recognizing how awful it feels to  complain – and then blaming everything outside of you for your bad feeling life?

Your words are your power to focus – and you can find a better feeling perspective when you decide to do it! I found a good reason to watch a nasty cat fight between two reality tv stars because I made the decision that I would. What will you decide?